The New Version of the Emperor and the Assassin

新荆轲刺秦王

Roles:

1. Introduction (举板) : 饰

2. Aside (旁白) : 饰

3. Voice-over (画外音) : 饰

4. Prince Dan (太子丹）： 饰

5. Minister A san（阿三）： 饰

6. Minister A si (阿四）： 饰

7. Jingke（荆轲）： 饰

8. Li Mochou（李莫愁）： 饰

9. Jingke’s wife (荆轲妻子）： 饰

10. Minister A (大臣A）： 饰

11. Minister B（大臣B）： 饰

12. Emperor Qin (秦王）： 饰

13. Bodyguard A (侍卫甲）： 饰

14. Bodyguards (其他侍卫）：

Introduction: (旁白)

（“战争的脚步” 音乐起）

Long long ago, there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.

（“战争的脚步”音乐停）

Action I: Conspiracy (密谋）

Actors: 旁白、画外音、太子丹、大臣阿三、大臣阿四

太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most

beautiful man in the world?

画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!

太子丹(高兴状): Thank you, mirror! (面对观众) I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror

said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a

jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so

scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where are my ministers?

阿三、阿四 (上,毕恭毕敬）：Your Highness! we are coming!

太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、

handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

阿三: Sure,Your Highness! Let me see!（盘坐在地。两手在头上画画如一休）

画外音：当当当，砰！！

阿三（起身）：Ok, I get one,we can sent a hero to put Ying Zheng to death.（作抹脖

子状）Then, all the beauties, jewelries and cities in Qing is ours.（坏笑）

太子丹：Ha, ha~~~. Good idea,Good idea! Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive

commodity in this century? （这句话要跟观众交流）

阿三 阿四：Talent! 人才！

太子丹：Yeah，but who do you think we can sent?

阿四：I have one promising persons on hand.

阿三：I have one too!

太子丹：Who are they?

阿四：He is Mr. JinKe.

阿三：She is Miss LiMoChou，Your Highness!

太子丹：But who should I choose ?

阿三：Tomorrow let them PK for the NO1. killer of the world.

太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?

阿三阿四（做敬礼立正状）：Yes，sir！

Action II: The War in Tianwang Mountain（天王山之战）

Actors: 荆轲、李莫愁、太子丹、阿三、荆轲妻子

荆轲 ：Are you Li mochou?

李莫愁：Yes.

荆轲：OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’

world.

李莫愁：Are you challenging me?

荆轲 ：Of course! (耸耸肩表示同意)

李莫愁：Come on!

荆轲：Look ，帅哥！(手指向观众的一方）

（李莫愁扭头，荆轲打到李莫愁，荆轲大笑）

李莫愁（痛苦状）：You are 使诈!

荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要

理由么，不需要么，需要么？）

李莫愁：Mum always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what

you’re gonna get." I got it, Mum is right.

(荆轲再次大笑)

太子丹 (上,抱拳）：How are you?

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?

太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?

荆柯：Sure!

太子丹：How are you?

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?

（太子丹作晕倒状）

荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!

阿三：Hero, we need your help.

荆柯：I am busy now! （荆轲欲走）

太子丹：You can get a lot of money.

荆柯：I am very busy now! （荆轲欲走）

太子丹(从衣兜里掏出一张卡片): Here is a card for traveling all over the world for

free, please accept it please, hero.

荆柯正准备拿，但马上又止，转身又欲走。

太子丹（慌了）：I must use the last way. Ladies and gentlemen. This is Miss Wang!

Music!

《Nobody》音乐起，

有一美艳女子走上（男扮女装），走到荆柯面前，给荆柯抛了一个眉眼。荆柯两眼发直。

（荆轲与Lady Wang跳探戈，拥入怀中）

（《Nobody》音乐停）

荆柯： You are so cute, I believe that I have fallen in love with you. That may be the love at the first sight!

太子丹与阿三（击掌）：Yeah!

荆柯（站直，厉声道）：Great man, both born and die for his motherland. I am not the

guy who just wants money and beauty. What shall I do? Prince, just say it out.

But this lady...

太子丹：No problem.

Action Ш: Say goodbye in Yishui River易水送别

Actors: 阿三、荆轲、太子丹、荆轲妻子

（《易水送别》 音乐起）

荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹在后，阿三一手拿着地图，一手拿着人头上。

阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.

荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends.

太子丹：Hero, Let me see you off a little further

荆珂：What a boring guy. If you walk a little further, then you will go to Qin instead

of me.

太子丹：Well. Goodbye. Hero. Here is the map and the head of Fan Yuqi, so as to get

trust of the king.

（《易水送别》音乐停）

荆珂接过头，扔在一边。太子丹，阿三下，荆珂转身猛抱住妻子）

《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起, 经典姿势上

荆珂：Darling, I love you.

妻子 (努力挤出几滴眼泪)：I love you, too! I love you just like the mouse likes the

rice.

荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... Promise

me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens...

no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰

坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.

（《泰坦尼克号》主题曲停）

妻子: “I promise.”

荆轲: “Never let go.”

妻子: “I promise. I will never let go, Jingke. I'll never let go.”（《泰坦尼克号》的台

词。）Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.

“Right here waiting” 音乐响起

荆珂上船，渐渐远去...

“Right here waiting” 音乐停

Action IV：Murdering 刺秦

Actors: 大臣A、大臣B、侍卫甲、秦王、荆轲、其他侍卫、侍

女

一大臣跑在前，一大臣紧随其后，跑了一圈，便上气不接下气。

大臣A（掏出手机一看）：Hey, bad luck. I am late. The bonus of this month has been

lost.

大臣B：I am tired. I had been chatting on QQ until 1 o’ clock last night.

大臣A（看了一下大臣B）：Good. Good. Your skin is fine.

大臣B：I use “Da Bao” everyday.

大臣A：I have heart the emperor of Yan again give our king some good things. Be

quick, to have a look. Come on.

秦王上座，两个大臣各坐一边。

侍卫A: “Can we begin?”

秦王: “begin!”

侍卫A: “Let the people of Yan Jingke come in!”

荆柯上。跪下，吓得直发抖。

秦王: “Jingke. What’s wrong with you?”

荆柯: “Nothing. Nothing. May be there are lots of fleas on my body.”

秦王（不烦）：What’s the good things, quickly!”

荆柯献图，图穷匕首见，荆柯举刀刺秦王

(Go Go Go oly音乐响起)

秦王摔倒，转身逃跑，其他人抱头趴在地上。

两个人围着大臣兜圈，过了一会儿……

（Go go go音乐停）

大臣甲喊道：“Mr King, drink the milk quickly!”扔了一奶壶，秦王接住，咂了一下，顿时，力大无比，立刻将荆柯打倒在地。

秦王: Super rubbish, how dare you kill me?

荆柯: I'm sorry I'm wrong But the prince of Yan told me to. Please forgive me!

秦王: You will never live again. What would you like to say?

（《武林外传》主题曲响起）

荆柯：I’m wrong I'm really from the begining. I should not be married.If I am not

marrid I will never die.

（音乐停）

秦王（吼道）：Soldiers carry out and put the pig head on the wall!

（ 音乐起）

集体上台谢幕，音乐停

-------------------------------------------------落幕------------------------------------------------