三顾茅庐剧本

旁白：Introduction

In this presentation, we will outline for you the traditional story of Three Visits to the Cottage. This is a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novels——the Romance of the Three Kindoms.

ZhuGeliang, a famous military advisor, politician and symbol of wisdom in Chinese history is one of the main characters in the story. Another important character is Liu Bei, who visits ZhuGeliang three times to invite him to become his military strategist. Zhu Geliang is so moved by Liubei' sincere request that he agrees to help the three brothers——Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei establish the Shu Kindom.

      Now, we would like to present to you our revised version of this traditional tale!

Scene One 第一幕

This is Zhu Geliang’s cottage. The three brothers will be coming.

屋子中，诸葛亮和猪不亮上场...(Tables in the room)

Zhu Geliang：Eh? This room is so dirty. Bu Liang, Go and clean the room.

Buliang：ok，ok，I will clean the room，I 'll clean it right now！

诸不亮扫地 ···(sweeping the floor)

三兄弟上场，关羽（头巾），刘备（墨镜），张飞（不停打嗝）(three brothers getting on stage)

刘：饭后一支烟，赛过活神仙

Liu Bei: A Cuban cigar is what I look forward to after dinner, it's really satisfying. The best cigar in the world.（伸手，张飞点烟，刘深吸一口，长舒一口气）

刘：嗯？没点着

Liu Bei: Eh? It won’t light?

张飞：凑合着吧，老师不让抽烟

Zhang Fei: Right, but this is the only one we have left.

Liu Bei: Are you kidding me?

Zhang Fei: Actually I lost them when I went to the toilet, and I tried very hard to get this one out.

关羽：此番前来，定要邀请的卧龙先生

Guan Yu: Skip the crap! Let's get down to business! Remember what we're doing here? We must persuade Zhu Geliang to come with us!

张飞：必须的，老曹太欺负人了

Zhang Fei: You’re right, we desperately need Zhu Geliang, because Cao of Wei Kingdom poses a huge danger to us all.

三人来到门前，石头剪子布(3 brothers at the door)

Zhang Fei: Who will knock on the door?

Liu Bei：Let's do it according to our custom？

Guan Yu：OK.

Zhang Fei：No problem.

刘备三人进行石头剪子布，刘备输了，其余两人把刘备推到前面。(Rock/Scissors/paper, Liu Bei loses)

刘备作出一幅英勇就义的姿态，（上海滩响起）(Music)

刘备作按门铃状，（门铃声响起）。(Doorbell)

Zhu Geliang：Bu Liang, go and see who’s at the door? /open the door.

Bu Liang：OK! Alright!

仆人板着个脸到了门口，做了一个甩头的动作，并呼啦呼啦头发，然后深呼吸，放平稳，保持微笑。然后打开门，举了个躬。

仆人：안녕하세요(发音a ni ha sai yao~~~，中文意思：你好)

Liu Bei：Can you speak any English?

Guan Yu：（紧接着刘备）Can you speak any Chinese?

Zhang Fei：（紧接着）Can you speak any Japanese?

Liu Bei：（紧接着）Spanish?

Guan Yu：（紧接着）Congolese?

Zhang Fei：（紧接着）Egyptian?

Bu Liang：（紧接着）Shut up! Who are you people?

Liu Bei：(摆个pose)I am Liubei.

Guan Yu：(也摆个pose)I am Guanyu.

Zhang Fei：(同样摆个pose，把仆人碰倒了Bu Liang falls down)I am Sorry.

刘备三人赶紧把仆人扶起来。(3 brothers help Bu Liang up)

猪不亮：你们带什么来的啊？

Bu Liang: What have you brought us?

3 brothers: (Embarrassed) Nothing.

Bu Liang: The boss is not home.

三人面面相觑，猪不亮关门

刘备突然明白了

Liu Bei: Oh, money! ????

张飞关羽耸肩都没带钱，下台(Shrug, get off stage)

Scene Two 第二幕

After the three brothers’ first visit, they returned to Zhu Geliang's cottage.

三兄弟上台，张飞关羽手提礼品(3 brothers on stage with gifts)

关羽说:这次应该可以了吧，上次也怨我们

Guan Yu: I think we’ll manage to convince him this time.

张飞：啥啊，如果你不是拉着我，老子一嗓子吼死他（做咆哮状，老虎声音）

Zhang Fei: What? If you hadn't stopped me last time, I would have killed him with my roar!(Roaring)You know how deadly my roar is.

刘备：行了，行了，我们来干啥来了

稍息。。。立正。。。（张飞关羽照做）

Liu Bei: Stop,stop this nonsense! Let's focus on the task at hand. Attention!

刘备：都给我机灵点（张飞关羽点头答应）

Liu Bei: You two! Be clever this time!(Guan and Zhang nodding)

屋子中……

（英文歌，诸葛亮正喝酒，猪不亮哼着英语歌）(In the cottage, Zhu is drinking wine, his servant is singing English songs )

诸葛亮：MY GOD！！上天你为什么这么惩罚我

Zhu Geliang: My God!! Why do you punish me?!

猪不亮：老大别难过，大部分人都过不了四级

Bu Liang: Don’t be so upset, boss. Many people don't pass the TOEFL

诸葛亮：我的烂英语啊，为什么我们要学这门糟糕的语言？(starts to cry)

Zhu Geliang: My poor English! You're killing me. Why do we have to study this awful language?

（换背景音乐，猪不亮跟着哭，门铃响，猪不亮去开门）(Doorbell, Bu Liang goes to the door)

猪不亮：谁啊

Bu Liang: Who’s that?

张飞：收电费的

Zhang Fei: I've come to read your electricity meter.

（开门，三人一脸嬉笑）

刘备：我们又来了，麻烦小弟通报一下

Liu Bei: Here we are again, please tell your boss that we need to see him. (gives the gifts to Bu Liang)

（猪不亮四下环顾，把礼品接过来了）(Bu Liang catches the gifts)

（屋子里传来悲伤的气息，张飞和关羽抹眼泪）(sad background music)

张飞：怎么突然一阵感伤涌上心头（自言自语）

Zhang Fei: I feel so very depressed.

关羽：请问卧龙先生在家吗，我们想见一下（SEE）

Guan Yu: Is Mr Zhu Geliang home? We want to have a talk with him, please.

猪不亮：吟诗，见与不见。。。

Bu Liang:（你见，或者不见我

It doesn’t matter whether you see me or not

我就在那里

I am standing right there

不悲不喜

With no emotion

你念，或者不念我

It doesn’t matter whether you miss me or not

情就在那里

The feeling is right there

不来不去

And it isn’t going anywhere

你爱或者不爱我

It doesn’t matter）

（猪不亮转身关门，站不稳）(Bu Liang shuts the door)

Liu Bei：What?！！

关羽：是不是家里死人了，下次再来吧

Guan Yu: I’m afraid someone important died here.

Let’s go. Maybe we should come back another time.

张飞：希望死的不是诸葛亮

Zhang Fei: Oh, Maybe Zhu Geliang is dead..

（关羽，刘备打张飞，下台。。）(Liu and Guan beat Zhang)

第三幕

In Zhu Geliang’s cottage , Zhu Geliang and Bu Liang are playing poker. Zhu Geliang wins again.

（诸葛亮和猪不亮玩扑克）

（诸葛亮又赢了）

猪不亮：老大你真NB

Bu Liang: You are the man !

诸葛亮：那是，你不想想我是干什么的，我打算过了年就去找刘备，找份工作

Zhu Geliang: Of course! It’s a piece of cake. I think I need to do something challenging. And I think I should go to Liu Bei’s kingdom to find a job after Spring Festival.

猪不亮：你想去刘备那里？？

Bu Liang: What? You said you want to go to Liu Bei’s kingdom?

诸葛亮：嗯，那里用不着英语

Zhu Geliang: Hum...At least that’s a place where I don't need to speak English.

猪不亮：前几天他来过了，让我赶跑了

Bu Liang: But...uh, he came, twice, and I drove him away twice.门铃响。。(doorbell)

猪不亮：说来就来了

Bu Liang: Speak of the devil and here they are again.

（三兄弟，大跨步的走进来，诸葛亮一见到很激动）

诸葛亮：大哥，想死我了（拥抱）你带我走吧

Zhu Geliang: (very excited) Boss! I missed you so much, please help me! Let me work for you.

刘备：镇定镇定，既然兄弟这么看得起我，那咱们就一起大干一场吧

Liu Bei: Calm yourself. Since you trust me so much, let’s just go and do it!

（出发。。）

诸葛亮：大哥等等，那。。那，一月多少钱啊

Zhu Geliang: Wait, wait... Boss, uh, how much will... I get... from you then?

张飞：（恐吓状）兄弟之间不谈钱，谈钱多伤感情，（拎着诸葛亮就走）

Zhang Fei: You hurt my feelings when you talk of money!

（猪不亮在后面拿着包袱，大喊）

猪不亮：带上我吧，（走路,小沈阳状）

Bu Liang: Oh, Please take me.

闭幕。。。。The end